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I'm having a bad day. My job has gotten me down. I work for a child support enforcement agency which is about like saying I work for the devil or the IRS. I tend to tell strangers and acquaintances I work for the State in collections. Most people pay child support or knows somebody does and nobody likes the system.
Most days I enjoy my job. I get money for custodial parents who need it and help non custodial parents keep the system fair. I can understand both sides of the child support coin.

Today I am having a hard time remembering why I do this. I have both parties calling complaining and bitching expressing their opinions about what they deserve. It's either not enough, too much or the other doesn't deserve it. I get it. You don't like the other person and you haven't gotten over whatever led you to being apart. Please don't spew the hate on me.

Our own child support modification hearing is fast approaching. I know how the system works which has helped but Superman is not willing to take my advise. I deal with this everyday. I can figure out how much he is supposed to pay with one hand tied behind my back and a broken calculator.

He went as far as to ask an attorney how to fill out the initial paperwork. The same paperwork I help parents fill out every day. That hurt my feelings. He would be offended if I didn't take his word for something having to do with his job but since I don't charge $200 per hour I must not know what I'm doing?

Huge F&%@*$& Balls

I was sitting at my desk at work when my phone goes off. It was a text from Superman.

I just found out that Luther called my job trying to get

me in trouble for the two checks from insurance.

My first reaction is I'm going to hurt that bastard complete outrage. How dare he try to call Superman's work to get him in trouble. Superman received an email this previous weekend requesting we research some insurance payments that were possibly made to us instead of the provider. Superman sent a response on Wednesday letting Lexie know it had been researched and we did in fact receive the checks. He let her know it would be paid to her in the next month. No big deal right? Apparently not.

Superman's job could have been in jeopardy had they believed he used his influence of his position to keep the money. Thank goodness Luther was told Superman has not done anything that constitutes their involvement. He was also told he did not have a right to file a complaint because the matters involved do not concern him. If a complaint needed to be filed Lexie needed to make contact in person.

After doing more research my husband found out this actually happened several months ago. He was never told of it by his supervisors because it was a considered a frivolous complaint by an angry ex-wife.

So I ask why did it take her several months to inform us of the error? If she wanted her share why didn't she just ask instead of going to his employer? If she didn't want to address it with Superman why not wait until court to bring it up? Does this crazy bitch Lexie understand if he loses his job the child support she has gotten so accustomed to receiving every two weeks for the last 12 years would stop??? What the F&@!?

A Step Back

Superman and I had a heated lively discussion on Tuesday night. We are currently in court proceedings with Lexie. She has decided she wants an increase in child support. She brought it up last year and Superman was willing to sign for the increase without any fuss. No court, no attorneys. On one stipulation. She must agree to increase the visitation time to the new standards in our state. He would get an additional night during the week and an extra week during the summer. We thought the request was fair. She did not.

Fast forward to May 2009. Superman gets served in the driveway with Lois and Lane standing next to him. Good times. We haven't gotten an attorney yet and hopefully don't need to. We both have enough experience with the legal system we have filed everything ourselves. We don't expect the child support to change much. Lois is emancipating so the support will only be for one child instead of two.

In the past I kept up with all the everyday tasks that needed to be done in relation to Lexie and Krypto. I emailed all the insurance documents, school papers, kept up with the exchange and payment of all medical bills, not to mention keeping a daily log book of all dealings with Krypto. Since Kent has been born I have slacked on it. unfortunately I don't feel Superman has picked up that slack. Things are starting to slowly get behind. Medical bills aren't getting reimbursed on time, receipts not being provided, and EOBs are not getting to the other sides.

With court fast approaching I feel everything needs to be in order. I tried to explain to Superman that I felt I had to be waist deep in this mess or things would fall apart. I had told him last year I needed to take a step back, to focus on my pregnancy and just take a break. This hasn't happened yet.

Superman will be the first to admit he has the memory of a goldfish.

Swim. Swim. Swim. Look a Castle. Swim.Swim. Swim.

Look a Castle! Swim. Swim. Swim. Wow! Is that a Castle?

Krypto knows this. Lexie knows this. I know this. The kids know this. Everyone knows I am the organized one. It annoys Krypto to no end that I am the one who sends her the things she needs. When she asks Superman if he got the email about Clark's dentist appointment or whatever the case may be, he tends to make the same reply. Whether or not he's seen it. I don't know. I'll have to look. This annoys me to no end because he does it to annoy her. I feel Krypto thinks I am hiding things from him. I, of course, express this to Superman. He proceeds to tell me that this is not always about me and he's sure they don't even think that.
The numerous emails from Krypto accusing me of this very thing point to a major flaw in his argument. I need a break from this. I did not ask to be his divorce and custody secretary. I want to help but not feel it is my responsiblity. I'm a little annoyed with the entire situation right now. I have the responsibilities of being their mother but none of the rights. I don't have a say what happens in the court room but it will directly affect my family. I don't have a right to defend myself against the lies and innuendos that are tossed around about me.

*********************

Lord, Please give me patience.

And when my patience fails me,
please give me the strength to bury the bodies.

Amen

Medical Decisions

After recovering from the midweek drama I was looking forward to spending some time with Superman. On Sunday, we went to breakfast and then furniture shopping. We even took the time to look at name books at Borders and finally decided on a middle name for Kent. We go home to get ready for church when a text message comes in from Krypto.



I need you to call me.



This message bothers me to no end. She never asks, or calls first, or attempts to leave a message. She expects him to immediately call with no respect for our schedule. He replies to her asking for more information. Ultimately, texts are traded back and forth with no real information being gathered. The last one, states Superman must not want to help and she'll let him know if Clark goes to the hospital. Now she knows that will be a reaction out of him. And of course he has to call.



She proceeds to tell Superman, Clark has thrown up 20 times today and had diarrhea three times. Now keep in mind, she is known for blowing things out of proporation. To ease Superman's mind, I give him questions to ask to determine if Clark may be getting dehydrated. Has he gone to the bathroom? How often? What do his lips look like? What about his tongue?


She is desribing someone who is fine and not suffering from anything except maybe a stomach virus at this point. She of course wants Superman to make a decision whether or not to take him to the emergency room.


We have discussed this before. Whoever has Clark will be the one to make the decision regarding his care. If we were to make the decision it would surely be thrown back in our faces and if she can handle joint custody she needs to be comfortable making medical decisions.


I am now attempting to find information on after hour clinics. The one we usually use is of course about to close. We ask if she attempted to treat with anything over the counter. She states she went to one store and they didn't have anything so she came home. We ask if she attmepted to get into the clinic. She states the phone was busy. FYI. Its walkins only. No appointments and she knows this.


So what happens. The pretend mommy get on the internet and searches for clinics in our area that are still open. I call 8 different one until I find one in a nearby city that stays open late. I call the clinic to verify all the necessary details. They will be able to see Clark if she is there by 7:30. I get the phone number, addresss, and provide it to Superman who passes along to Krypto. Superman still will not make the decision for her. He tells her if she decides to take him then she needs to contact him.


I am upset. I may be the pretend mommy but why was she not doing this? If our situations were reversed and I had had Clark when he was sick I would have been calling in the morning not waiting until the last minute.

Seriously

Lexie is pregnant. Again. That would be her 6th child at the age of 37. Lois told her dad on Saturday that Lexie and Luther are going to have another child. In normal circumstances I would be very happy for a woman newly pregnant. However in this case, I am in shock and concerned for the impact this will have on the girls.

Lexie was told several pregnancies ago not to have any more kids because of the health risks. Lexie and Luther have been struggling financially for some time now. They own their own construction business and the market is not what is used to be. They were struggling before the economy went downhill. They filed for bankruptcy last year and that didn't seem to help their financial stability. They tend to spend when they get money and are not big on saving. They live well beyond their means.

The girls have now told us they are moving to a smaller house and will have to share a room now. That by itself is fine but then the kicker. They have to share a bed too. The girls are 17 and 15. How could you ask them to do that?

Superman and I drove by the house they plan to rent. No one will convince me that they couldn't find a better house suited for them for a lot less money if you took pride out of the equation. It sits on a hill with absolutely no yard. There will be 6 kids in this house within a short period of time. The house is newly built but apparently having a non-functioning theater room is more important than giving her daughters privacy.

I'm am trying to put things in perspective but sometimes when faced with such hypocrisy it is hard to do. How does a person justify getting the washer and dryer reposed one week and then decide its a good idea to rent all new furniture for the new house the next???

Give me strength not to open my mouth.

Not the Mommy

I am a pretend mother. I am not the real mommy. I know this because I have been told countless times. I am responsible for getting the kids dressed, to school on time, help with homework, and fix life's bumps and bruises whether real or imaginary.

But, I can not stress this point enough. I am the pretend mommy.

I did not give birth to these children. I was not there in the beginning. I do not remember the first steps or the look on my husband's face when they were born. I came into the picture later. Apparently too late to be anything but the pretend mommy.

I begin this with a hope I can come to terms with being a pretend mommy. I want to be able to rise above the disagreements, hurt feelings, and selfishness that comes so often with the blending of families. I want to be a better pretend mommy. I want to count, to have my opinion mean something.