She's In

Lois is now officially at our house. Her clothes are in the closet, her bed is made, and her shoes are in the closet. I had no idea she had so many clothes. We apparently only saw a small portion of her closet every other weekend. She got in later than we hoped but rain slowed the process down.

We have a strict no interrogation policy at our house. We don't question the kids about the other households. We don't ask questions designed to solicit a response. Anything they tell us is of their own free will. But I was dying to know what happened the last few days to move up the move in day by more than a week.

While unpacking with Superman, Lois told Superman Lexie wanted her to leave because it was too hard on her. Lois being there and Lexie knowing she was leaving was too much so Lois was asked to leave. Lexie apparently cried most of the day yesterday and Luther wasn't even home.

I think Lois was a little hurt. You could tell yesterday. I know this is hard on everyone. Their little girl is becoming an adult but I don't think anyone thought this is how Lois would be spending her 18th birthday.

This is what we are getting from Lois. I know she could be playing us but only time will tell. She hasn't been caught lying to us recently and she told us things in the last two weeks that we had no idea she had done. (I wish she would have kept some of those little tidbits of information to herself)

What Does A Falling Shoe Sound Like?

I knew it couldn't be easy. No fighting, no crying, no guilt trips. I hate to admit it but without these little moments my pessimistic attitude just wouldn't be justified. I'm trying to be a better person and not think the worst but what's a girl to do.

Lois called Superman yesterday to discuss her birthday dinner. For the last 12 years Superman has had dinner alone with the girls on their birthday. We kept the tradition even after we got married. Its in the visitation agreement. Its one of the few things about the agreement Superman actually really likes. Lexie in recent years has been mumbling about how unfair it is. (He gets additional 2 hours a year on their birthday and she gets the kids 12 out of every 14 days. Yeah, really unfair.) Anyways, Lois calls and asks if Superman is still able to take her birthday off next week and spend it with her as he suggested earlier in the week. Superman tells her because she didn't think it was a good idea he scheduled training that day and can not take off. Lois goes on to explain Lexie wants to have dinner with her. Lois doesn't mention changing dinner plans with Superman so Superman doesn't say anything. Lois goes on to another subject and nothing else is said.

Fast forward 6 hours. Lois calls while we were on the way to dinner. I start to cover my head because I assume the other shoe is about to fall. Lois says this statement. This is all too hard. I believe I hear Superman's heart breaking. He goes on to ask who this is hard on. She replies it is just too hard for everyone. Superman tells her he doesn't want to make anything harder for her and she can make her own decisions and we will support her. What she says next shocked both of us.

Can I move in tomorrow night? Let me repeat this. She said, Can I move in tomorrow night?

Superman quickly agreed as soon as he could chin off the floor. Lois wouldn't go into a lot of details. She just kept repeating it's just too hard and everyone came to a decision this would be best. Yeah right. Lois made a decision and did not cave under her mother's pressure which probably led to this. She is basically being told to leave.

About 3 hours later, Lois calls and tells us Lexie doesn't want us to waste gas by coming to help her move so Lois's friends have decided to help her. Now this is the woman who wanted us to let Lois take our car during our visitation to drive to her house 15 miles away so Lois could water her plants. Did I mention it was raining at the time? Waste gas, my ass. She doesn't want to see Superman.

So as of 6pm tonight Lois will be at our house with all her worldly possessions. I am very proud she was able to make a decision and stick to it. Not because it makes Superman happy (although that is a definite bonus for me) but because she weighed her options and decided this was the best choice for her. Maybe she is growing up?

Facebook Friends Obsessions

Like most people I have a Facebook. I don't use mine to network or keep in touch with acquaintances from preschool. I use mine as another way of staying close to family and friends. A one-stop shop for pictures, videos and quick updates. I am very particular who I allow to be my friend.

While browsing my family and friends updates and such, I notice my sister-in-law has a new friend who commented on her status. IT'S KRYPTO!!! What the hell? They hate each other. I can't help myself. I start looking some more. Superman's niece and Kent's Godmother are also her friends now.

This really wouldn't be such a problem if any of these people liked her. They all know the turmoil she has caused and all were there when she stole from Superman while he was recovering from brain surgery. I am hurt. I instantly feel somehow this is a stab at me. Am I really liked by these people or would they rather have Krypto back? Surely not.

On a separate issue I know Superman's niece has pictures of Kent on her Facebook and now Krypto has access to those. Normally this isn't that big of a deal however there is a very concerning back story.

About 2 months after Kent was born we took him to see his other Aunt and Niece. They both have stayed in very close contact with Krypto. Because of this we limit the time we spend with them because they report everything to her. We know this but we still want them to meet their newest nephew/cousin. Unfortunately the Niece was not home when we went by. In the next couple of days we send a photo to her phone of Kent because she desperately wanted to see him. No big deal.

Fast forward one month. While changing Kent, Clark makes a simple unprompted statement. "My mom has a picture of Kent on her phone." My first thought is, of course, what is that crazy bitch doing with a picture of my son???. Superman calmly responds, "Really, where did she get that?" Clark not realizing anything out of the ordinary replies "My Cousin". Steam shoots from my ears.

What kind of person carries a picture of her ex-husband's new child around on her phone??? She doesn't even like me or the thought of Superman having another child. She is seriously disturbed. Superman approaches his Niece later and asks why she gave a picture of Kent to Krypto. She denies she did it but Kryto did have her phone and was looking through it. She was told no more pictures would be given to her or her mother.

Now back to the Facebook dilemma. When the sister-in-law and Niece come over for dinner Niece actually brings up the subject. Superman asks her why she did it. She is concerned by our reaction but admits it was for a business opportunity she has with Krypto that she already asked us about. She wanted to make sure we didn't feel like it was a conflict of interest. We told her back then if she could make money off her then she could do anything she wanted with our blessing. We told her the story regarding the phone pictures and she offered to take Kent's pictures off her site.

My sister-in-law denies she is on her friends lists but after logging in she finds it to be true. She continuously goes on and on about how much she doesn't like the woman. But I think she is protesting too much. I think we have another person on our hands who is obsessed with her friend count and is willing to add her just to increase her number.

So the pictures have been removed from Krypto's access and hopefullly no damage has been done.

Huge F&%@*$& Balls

I was sitting at my desk at work when my phone goes off. It was a text from Superman.

I just found out that Luther called my job trying to get

me in trouble for the two checks from insurance.

My first reaction is I'm going to hurt that bastard complete outrage. How dare he try to call Superman's work to get him in trouble. Superman received an email this previous weekend requesting we research some insurance payments that were possibly made to us instead of the provider. Superman sent a response on Wednesday letting Lexie know it had been researched and we did in fact receive the checks. He let her know it would be paid to her in the next month. No big deal right? Apparently not.

Superman's job could have been in jeopardy had they believed he used his influence of his position to keep the money. Thank goodness Luther was told Superman has not done anything that constitutes their involvement. He was also told he did not have a right to file a complaint because the matters involved do not concern him. If a complaint needed to be filed Lexie needed to make contact in person.

After doing more research my husband found out this actually happened several months ago. He was never told of it by his supervisors because it was a considered a frivolous complaint by an angry ex-wife.

So I ask why did it take her several months to inform us of the error? If she wanted her share why didn't she just ask instead of going to his employer? If she didn't want to address it with Superman why not wait until court to bring it up? Does this crazy bitch Lexie understand if he loses his job the child support she has gotten so accustomed to receiving every two weeks for the last 12 years would stop??? What the F&@!?

A Step Back

Superman and I had a heated lively discussion on Tuesday night. We are currently in court proceedings with Lexie. She has decided she wants an increase in child support. She brought it up last year and Superman was willing to sign for the increase without any fuss. No court, no attorneys. On one stipulation. She must agree to increase the visitation time to the new standards in our state. He would get an additional night during the week and an extra week during the summer. We thought the request was fair. She did not.

Fast forward to May 2009. Superman gets served in the driveway with Lois and Lane standing next to him. Good times. We haven't gotten an attorney yet and hopefully don't need to. We both have enough experience with the legal system we have filed everything ourselves. We don't expect the child support to change much. Lois is emancipating so the support will only be for one child instead of two.

In the past I kept up with all the everyday tasks that needed to be done in relation to Lexie and Krypto. I emailed all the insurance documents, school papers, kept up with the exchange and payment of all medical bills, not to mention keeping a daily log book of all dealings with Krypto. Since Kent has been born I have slacked on it. unfortunately I don't feel Superman has picked up that slack. Things are starting to slowly get behind. Medical bills aren't getting reimbursed on time, receipts not being provided, and EOBs are not getting to the other sides.

With court fast approaching I feel everything needs to be in order. I tried to explain to Superman that I felt I had to be waist deep in this mess or things would fall apart. I had told him last year I needed to take a step back, to focus on my pregnancy and just take a break. This hasn't happened yet.

Superman will be the first to admit he has the memory of a goldfish.

Swim. Swim. Swim. Look a Castle. Swim.Swim. Swim.

Look a Castle! Swim. Swim. Swim. Wow! Is that a Castle?

Krypto knows this. Lexie knows this. I know this. The kids know this. Everyone knows I am the organized one. It annoys Krypto to no end that I am the one who sends her the things she needs. When she asks Superman if he got the email about Clark's dentist appointment or whatever the case may be, he tends to make the same reply. Whether or not he's seen it. I don't know. I'll have to look. This annoys me to no end because he does it to annoy her. I feel Krypto thinks I am hiding things from him. I, of course, express this to Superman. He proceeds to tell me that this is not always about me and he's sure they don't even think that.
The numerous emails from Krypto accusing me of this very thing point to a major flaw in his argument. I need a break from this. I did not ask to be his divorce and custody secretary. I want to help but not feel it is my responsiblity. I'm a little annoyed with the entire situation right now. I have the responsibilities of being their mother but none of the rights. I don't have a say what happens in the court room but it will directly affect my family. I don't have a right to defend myself against the lies and innuendos that are tossed around about me.

*********************

Lord, Please give me patience.

And when my patience fails me,
please give me the strength to bury the bodies.

Amen

Medical Decisions

After recovering from the midweek drama I was looking forward to spending some time with Superman. On Sunday, we went to breakfast and then furniture shopping. We even took the time to look at name books at Borders and finally decided on a middle name for Kent. We go home to get ready for church when a text message comes in from Krypto.



I need you to call me.



This message bothers me to no end. She never asks, or calls first, or attempts to leave a message. She expects him to immediately call with no respect for our schedule. He replies to her asking for more information. Ultimately, texts are traded back and forth with no real information being gathered. The last one, states Superman must not want to help and she'll let him know if Clark goes to the hospital. Now she knows that will be a reaction out of him. And of course he has to call.



She proceeds to tell Superman, Clark has thrown up 20 times today and had diarrhea three times. Now keep in mind, she is known for blowing things out of proporation. To ease Superman's mind, I give him questions to ask to determine if Clark may be getting dehydrated. Has he gone to the bathroom? How often? What do his lips look like? What about his tongue?


She is desribing someone who is fine and not suffering from anything except maybe a stomach virus at this point. She of course wants Superman to make a decision whether or not to take him to the emergency room.


We have discussed this before. Whoever has Clark will be the one to make the decision regarding his care. If we were to make the decision it would surely be thrown back in our faces and if she can handle joint custody she needs to be comfortable making medical decisions.


I am now attempting to find information on after hour clinics. The one we usually use is of course about to close. We ask if she attempted to treat with anything over the counter. She states she went to one store and they didn't have anything so she came home. We ask if she attmepted to get into the clinic. She states the phone was busy. FYI. Its walkins only. No appointments and she knows this.


So what happens. The pretend mommy get on the internet and searches for clinics in our area that are still open. I call 8 different one until I find one in a nearby city that stays open late. I call the clinic to verify all the necessary details. They will be able to see Clark if she is there by 7:30. I get the phone number, addresss, and provide it to Superman who passes along to Krypto. Superman still will not make the decision for her. He tells her if she decides to take him then she needs to contact him.


I am upset. I may be the pretend mommy but why was she not doing this? If our situations were reversed and I had had Clark when he was sick I would have been calling in the morning not waiting until the last minute.

Sibling Class

We went to a sibling class today for Clark. It was to help Clark transition from being the youngest to an older brother. The instructor brought a lot of the same topics up we have already covered and Clark was very proud of himself for being able to answer correctly. She also addressed concepts we had not even thought of. She addressed the issue of the new baby receiving a lot of attention and presents. She compared it with his own birthday and he seemed satisfied with the explanation. He has even decided he can help Kent open his birthday presents since he will be too young to do it when he gets here. Overall it was a good class and would recommend it to anyone. He was however a little shocked by the concept of breastfeeding. We will probably get an angry email over that one.

The instructor was not aware I was the stepmother. She referred to me as mom during the class. I was curious to see how he would react. After we were first married, Clark would correct people and tell them I wasn't his mother. Over time the reaction has started to change. I think being around kids his own age with stepparents has helped him understand more. His counselor he went to for a short period of time reinforced it was ok if he had two mommy's even if he didn't call me that.

Clark has always called me by my first name and he knows it is his choice what he can call me. Recently he has started asking more questions about calling me mom. He is very curious about what Kent will call me and asked several time if he could call me mom too if he wanted. We want it to be his choice but we don't want him to feel he is being left out of anything that his brother is doing. It's walking a tight rope because Krypto would not be happy if she knew he was considering the idea.

And so it begins

We dropped Clark off at Kryto's house following our midweek visitation. As usual, I stay in the vehicle while Superman takes him to the door. I make a conscious effort not to appear bothered when she keeps talking to Superman at the door, usually about nothing important. I think she does this because she knows I'm waiting for him in the car.

Tonight was exceptionally long. When Superman gets into the car he proceeds to tell me about the conversation he just had with Krypto. Initially it was about dentist appointments and other things like that. Then the conversation switched to Kent's upcoming arrival. When all was said, she basically was asking Superman to give her Clark when Kent is born because she does not want him "neglected". Superman was caught off guard by the comments and told her in no certain terms he would be taken care of and not to worry about it. And the visitation schedule would not be changing due to Kent's birth.

We have made a decision not to share details or at least be vague about Kent with her because we did not feel it was any of her business. We have not encouraged Clark to keep secrets from her but we were not going to make her a priority in this particular situation. In fact, she's never brought up the subject before. Superman tells me she referred to him as "Kent" just like Clark has been doing since we found out he was a boy. I don't know why that bothers me so much.

The idea of my son's name coming out of her mouth makes my stomach turn. I really don't want her trying to sneak a peak at him while dropping Clark off either. I want to shield him from what I will believe will be a negative person in his life. How do I balance wanting to keep Kent away from her prying but not giving Clark the impression his mother is a bad influence?