The Control is Lost

I came home last night from a long work day and an unexpected trip to the grocery store to find out the Lois had gone over to Krypto's house with Mr. Wonderful. I was upset. After all Krypto has said and done to our family why would she do that? She walks up behind me and tells me it's up to her to make that decision.

I am hurt. I have been thinking about it since. I think my biggest problem is I feel like I have been stabbed in the back. Shouldn't there be some kind of loyalty to me? I get she wants to see her brother but HELLO he is here half the time. I also don't trust Lois not to get around her and give Krypto information about us. Lois tends to follow the company she keeps.

I am the one who gets held to a higher standard than everyone else. If I have a bad day then I must hate the kids and ultimately will cause the severe emotional problems for life. I get the eye rolls that are not given to anyone else of authority in their lives. When we discuss things and I cry because my feelings are hurt then I am trying to somehow manipulate the situation to my advantage.

I am tired. I am tired of having to protect myself from people I should consider my family. I am tired of being held to an unrealistic standard. I am tired.

So I have decided to take control of the areas that I can. I asked Superman to have the girls take all pictures of me and Kent off their facebooks. Their cousin is now their friend and she is currently living with Krypto. I will not allow someone I do not trust access to pictures of my son. If they refuse to do it I have decided I will contact Facebook itself.

I have contacted Kent's daycare and taken Lois off the pick up list. If I do not trust her judgement how can I allow her unfettered access to my son along with anyone she wants to bring.

I know this may be an overreaction but I need to feel like I am doing something and don't have any other way to handle it. How do I stop this feeling that I need to protect myself from everybody around me now? I don't think everyone should have to choose but I'm not going around befriending all their ex-counterparts either. God knows if I did that I would be crucified.

I know this latest development will have repercussions for us. Krypto will use Lois until she no longer has a use for her. She will then step all over her to get what she wants. They will be our consequences and once again she will not have to suffer for her decisions.

Attorney Visit

We had our meeting with the attorney on Wednesday. It was a double edged sword. We both walked out feeling relieved and frustrated. The attorney listened to all we had to say. She agreed some of the things were a little "weird" and sometimes her judgement was questionable. After Superman poured over the most recent events she stopped and asked how this is effecting Clark.

We both were caught a little of guard by the question. After everything we told her we both realized Clark is a resilient little boy who may have parents that fight and sometimes hate each other but like we have been saying all along. He is a normal healthy happy boy.

We don't have anything to show a judge Clark is suffering in any way. We are but that doesn't count. You can be crazy parent as long as you don't make the kids crazy. So ending joint custody is not an option right now. For either of us.

So while we may have to deal with the situation for some time to come she is going to have to deal with it also. Which is a little comforting. No surprise attacks that we have to be on edge about. The frustration comes in knowing Clark will have to be hurt or suffering in some way in order to do anything. We can't prevent it just repair the damage after it's done.

So we are setting up another mediation appointment with Krypto. To help resolve the issues we are having and try to put some boundaries on her with the court.

Tuesday at Dad's

Lois will be coming over tonight for dinner. It is also the midweeks visits with Lane and Clark. Once again Superman will have all his kids under one roof. And that make me happy.

This will be the first time she's seen her room since she left. It's in the process of being painted blue by Superman and Clark. Hopefully this doesn't hurt her feelings.

After dropping Clark off tonight we are going to swing by and see the Cousin. Because of all the bad weather here recently he didn't get a chance last week. We have the appointment tomorrow with the attorney tomorrow so tonight is our last chance to get it done.

I asked Superman if I could go to the attorney. He said sure. I tried to ask in a no-big-deal-you-won't-upset-me-and/or-this-is-not-a-trap-if-you-say-no-manner. I wanted to go but I didn't want to feel like I was pushing it on him. I, of course, didn't think he thought about it long enough. So I spent the next ten minutes trying to convince him by text he could tell me no if he wanted and he could take time if he needed. He responded, "The appointment with our attorney is at 3."

I know it's stupid but the simple phrase of "our attorney" made me smile. Fingers crossed only good news comes from the attorney.