Making Plans

We are beginning to make plans for Kent's arrival. This is only complicated by the schedules of the kids. In a perfect world the kids would get to come to the hospital after Kent's arrival and get to have some family time before things get too hectic with bringing him home. I'm just not so sure it is going to happen.

We haven't even brought up the subject with Krypto yet. I am not looking forward to her reaction. She is still seething from the knowledge we are having a boy. I don't know if she'll be willing to switch days or not.

I think I need to step back from the situation a little. Even as I type this I realize it is not "we" who should be bringing up the subject. Ultimately it is Superman's responsibility. I think we have gotten to a point where he understands my feelings on the issues of the exes. I want to be involved in decisions that affect my home and our time as a family. I do need to let him handle the communication more without interference from me. Now if only I can get rid of my control issues all my problems would be solved.

It's Complicated

My life is complicated. It consists of various schedules either imposed by a court, our employers, or a self-induced compulsive need to organize. My husband works for the city on rotating shifts every two months. Superman has visitation with Lois and Lane on a standard schedule of every other weekend and he has joint custody of Clark. Clark is with us one week and then with Kryptonite the next week with a midweek visitation night somewhere in the middle. Our life is planned around these.

I feel the need to give a back story to my life. Superman has been married three times including his marriage to me. His first marriage was to Lexie. High school sweethearts get married, have kids and then realize they have grown up and apart. They have been divorced for over ten years now. The relationship with Lexie is manageable. She is married to Luther. There are bumps along the way and we sometimes disagree but all-in-all not bad. No major drama.

Now comes the drama. Superman's second ex-wife, Kryptonite. They were married for 4 years and the divorce was final in 2005. They share joint custody of Clark. This relationship is not so good. She is not what I would call stable. She embezzled money from two former employers, has been diagnosed bi-polar, is living with her parents and is currently attempting to drive Superman and myself crazy. Ok, maybe not on purpose, but it's the end result.

Superman and I started dating in 2006 and were married in 2007. Just to set the record straight. I did not know Superman when he was with Kryptonite. I did not steal him, or take him away from his family. He was legally, morally, and emotionally divorced from this women a long time before our relationship. I never stayed in his home while the kids were there. From the beginning we made the children a priority. We built our relationship around the knowledge his life included the kids and that point was not negotiable.

So why the bitterness between me and Kryptonite you ask? Because I am the new wife, the new stepmother, and I can only imagine a threat to her position in this little drama. I am the understudy just waiting in the wings to step in when she is unable to perform the role. She does not understand I do not want to replace her. Honestly. I want a special relationship with my stepchildren, different but unique. The kids need both parents. I respect her position as his mother. Just not the way she always performs as his mother.

This is my struggle towards enlightenment.