Surviving the holidays

This year the kids were with their mothers. It didn't feel like Thanksgiving. I feel bad that it was Kent's first and I didn't go all out. My sister-in-law and her son came over but it was missing a very important element to make it a true holiday...the rest of our family.

After everything was said and done we both decided we will be traveling in future years when we don't have all the kids. We can make our own traditions with Kent. Maybe see my sister or his brother who we never see because of the distance and the time contraints placed on us by visitation schedules.

This year we have all the kids for Christmas morning which I can't wait for. Hopefully the Christmas spirit will hit me soon.

Giving thanks

If you were to read this blog you would assume I was not happy with my situation and on the verge of running away to a desserted island. That is far from the truth.... 99% of the time.

I do have a lot to be thankful for

1. I have a roof over my head, and job to go to.
2. A husband who loves me not despite my flaws but because of them.
3. Three wonderful stepkids who have taught me restraint, compassion, and patience.
4. An amazing little boy I get to call my own. The wonders of motherhood cannot be matched.
5. Extended family who support us in our quest to strengthen our pieced together family.

Without the trials and tribulations of the last 4 years I don't think I would understand the true value of those things. And for that I am most thankful for.

Learning to trust

A couple of weeks ago we began to suspect Lois was having her boyfriend over while we weren't home. This was the only rule that I felt very strongly about. I want to have total control over who is in my house.

Superman told me he had found oil stains on our driveway. He said he's been watching and her boyfriend's car is leaking oil. The spots are in the middle of the driveway and Superman parks his car on the right side so for those marks to be there he couldn't have been home.

There is also the matter of the mysterious coke can. When she was home sick for a few days a can of coke appeared in the kitchen. We did not buy it and she didn't go anywhere. So how did it appear on the house?

I had been on Superman to sit her down and talk to her. It had been over a week and still nothing. Finally I had it. I told him very directly that I may not be able to control what happens to the kids, be able to control crazy exwives or even defend myself when I have been talked bad about but as god as my witness I will control what happens in my own fucking house.

Now maybe the language wasn't needed and I know my tone could have been better but it made my point. He called Lois and told her to make some time to talk.

She denied it all. I don't believe her. He does. He is trained to detect deception. I think he's blind with regards to his daughter.

Should I setup a camera or just let it be? She now knows we are looking so will she just improve her techniques or will she stop. I need to learn to trust but she has burned me too many times.

Recharge

Superman and I had a date on Wednesday night. It was the first time in four years we went and had the kids stay with someone. In the past we always would wait and go out on the weeks Clark was with Krypto. I arranged the whole thing and I think Superman was a little surprised We had a good time. There has been a lot going on with Lois and it has put me on edge.

Sometimes it's nice to have those quiet times to remind you why you put up with everything else.

On Friday Lane confirmed Lexie had lost the baby. This is the second one in 9 months. Having one miscarriage nearly killed me. I don't if they have plans to continue trying. I hope with the support of her family she is able to make it through this difficult time.

Would it be inappropriate to send an email to her expressing my condolences?

Two weeks ago I got my haircut. The hairdresser was new and I was pleasantly surprised that she also had curly hair. I assume if she can fix her own hair then I think she should be able to manage my own curly mop. It began like an other appointment. A few questions about what I wanted done, what my hair was like, etc. She began cutting and then apparently she felt we had some magical bond or she had verbal diarrhea not hampered by any professionalism standards.


She began to tell me about her ex and his new girlfriend. How much she hated him and how he did not support the kids. He refused to see the kids at her house and he insisted he be able to have them overnight. She went on to comment on the girlfriend. Explaining to me, her kids were not going to have a new mom. This went on and on. Forever.


If I closed my eyes I could have sworn my hair was being cut by Krypto.


My family shows up towards the end and she notices them in the background. She asks me how old all the kids are. I quickly give ages and wish I could sneak out of the chair. She asks if they are all mine. I respond, "Yes they are all mine but I do share them with their mother." She asks if I get along with their mother and I tell her it's a work in progress like everything else.


I was relieved to get out of the salon. Even my time to relax gets interrupted.

Back from the Brink

Once again sickness has kept me out. However this time it was not for me. Kent was diagnosed with H1N1. He is only 8 months old and I have never been so scared. On Tuesday, Lois called Superman after her doctor's appointment. She told him the doctor confirmed she had the flu and most likely H1N1. Superman then called me. Of course, my first reaction is fear. You can't turn on the news without hearing about another death and how horrible it is for young children to get. I ask a million questions and none of the answers made me feel better. When was she contagious? How long until someone else develops symptoms?


Lois was contagious and without symptoms during our family pictures on Sunday. Great, the one day we are all trapped in a vehicle going to the location to have family pictures made. The only thing that was better than that was she was sitting next to Kent the entire way. I immediately call his pediatrician and her nurse describes the symptoms we should be looking for. Kent has really bad allergies and has all the symptoms all the time. We decide to play it safe and make an appointment for the Wednesday.

On Tuesday Superman made sure Lexie was notified since she is pregnant and Lane could have carried it back to their house after the weekend with us. Superman then called Krypto. We were expecting a blowup. Clark had shown no signs up to this point and the doctor advised to keep him home if symptoms developed. At his age, she felt he would recover on his own. Krypto didn't even blink an eye. She did not express anything. It was like she was being told the weather report. No big deal.

Wednesday comes and Kent is running a fever and is fussy. The doctor confirms he does have the flu and since he has already received his seasonal flu shot more than likely it is H1N1. My heart drops. Worst case scenarios are running through my head. Oh my god, not my child. He was put on Tamiflu and we all hoped for the best.

When Krypto called on Thursday to check on Clark she was told Kent had contracted it. Apparently this caused her concern and it sounded like she didn't want to have Clark come to her house if he might have it. He told her of the symptoms he should be having and the symptoms should appear before Monday if he was going to get it.

By the weekend Kent was doing better and besides being cranky and unable to sleep it wasn't too bad. Saturday we were even able to attend Lane's choir concert. Crisis averted.