It's Over

Finally. After 6 months of anxiety and not knowing what was going to happen. The cloud hanging over us is finally gone. The mediation came and now it is complete. Everyone signed on the dotted line.

And what did she accomplish? She managed to get less than $600 more a year and Superman now gets to see his daughter an additional night a week plus an additional week in the summer.

At least it worked out for us.

• Superman was able to call me on breaks. Apparently Luther showed up thinking he would be allowed in. Superman advised him he was not a party to the mediation and he was not going to be included. Lexie was not happy.
• Lexie then told Superman she was on the verge of firing her attorney because she refused to return her calls and agreed to mediation without consulting her. Lexie was not happy.
• Superman allowed the mediator to see his financials but refused to let Lexie since she did not file hers with the court as required. Lexie was not happy.
• Superman's overtime from last year would not be considered since he is not currently receiving any. Lexie was not happy.
• The child support increase would take into effect from May 2009. The arrears barely cover what she paid the attorney to start the case. Lexie was not happy.
• Lexie wanted to back support to be paid in 3 months. Superman has 43 months to pay it off according to the law. Lexie is not happy.

There is an increase in child support and yes, we will have to make extra payments to pay off the back support but at least it's fair. He is paying what he is supposed to be and we no longer have to live in fear of when she might request an increase. We can enforce the visitation order and not have in the back of our minds if she will ask for an increase out of retaliation.

It's over.

Deep breathe. Exhale. So why do I feel like crying?

Waiting

Superman is at mediation this morning with Lexie. The court date is postponed until the results of this meeting is over. So now I am reduced to waiting and watching my phone for the slightest movement that could be mistaken for a vibration. Last night we spent several hours going over everything we felt he should cover. We decided on what he could compromise on and what was not negotiable. I know he will do fine and what he feels is best.

I'm not good at waiting. Patience may be a virtue but why can't obsessive anxiety be one too?

Change of Plans

Apparently the plans for Superman and Lexie to meet with their attorneys is not an option anymore. Her attorney couldn't find the time. So our attorney called the judge and got an order for mediation. This is what we were going for anyways. We still don't know if Lexie agreed to it or if she is being forced to go.

Hopefully come Monday this little drama will be behind us.

On a different note, we went to parent teacher conferences last night. Krypto has a different time scheduled. Every year we ask the teacher if she is willing to meet with us separately because Krypto doesn't want me going. The teacher has no problem accommodating us. During kindergarten Krypto tried to convince Superman the school wouldn't allow separate conferences. Of course, we saw through that one.

I am always nervous before going to these kinds of events for Clark. I always feel like the teacher is somehow judging me. I just want to blurt out, "I'm not the bad guy here. I didn't steal him from her. I didn't break up their family. She did that all on her own." I feel like I overcompensate because of it. We make a point not to mention Krypto in our conference. This is not the place to air grievances between everyone.

In order to prevent Krypto from painting us in a bad light we have started something new this year and I think it worked. We had Clark when the sign up sheet went out. We provided a copy to Krypto as required by the date required. We then sent an email to his teacher asking for separate conferences and advising her Krypto would be turning her form in later. His teacher responded the next week with a time and stated Krypto had not turned in another sheet.

This is the sneaky part. We sent an email to Krypto reminding her she needed to send her sheet in if she wanted a conference and referenced the previous email we sent her 5 days earlier. We blind carbon copied the teacher so Krypto had no idea the teacher received a copy of the email. The next day Krypto contacted the teacher to schedule the appointment and claimed she just found out about it because Superman doesn't communicate with her. Now she looks like a liar.

The teacher told us Clark is doing very well and continues to improve in his reading. We have been struggling with him on his reading and writing. She showed us some of his work to compare and there was a significant difference in his writing. He has been working really hard and we are very proud of him.

His teacher is very strict and I think that has helped Clark stay in line. Clark tends to try to push his boundaries with women. I think it's because his mother doesn't seem to follow through with the punishments or limits she sets. His teacher pushes him just enough without being harsh or mean. She knows when he can't and when he doesn't want to.

Taking the BullS*&@ By The Horns

I hope we didn't make a mistake but we decided to attack on both fronts. We already had a court date set for October with Lexie regarding the child support and visitation issues. Well, we decided to quit playing games with Krypto also. Superman sent her attorney a letter advising of 3 mediation appointments his client needs to choose from. If she refuses we will be filing contempt papers.

Krypto has a history of scheduling mediation and then backing out once she cools off or she gets distracted by something else. She did it in November 2008 (when she found out we were having a boy) and this year in April (after Kent was born). Both times she has not followed up on the appointment and they are never rescheduled. This time we are calling her bluff.

Superman called Lexie's attorney yesterday and advised her he was seeking mediation either by Lexie's agreement or he would request a court order to force her into it. She seemed receptive and stated she would contact Lexie to see what she says. In the past she was not interested but we will see what she says.

I think in order for us both to stay sane we need this to be resolved. I know I do. Some days I am too focused on them to concentrate on my own responsibilities and priorities. They are already a bigger part of my life than I want and I definitely don't need them taking permanent residence inside my head. So they are being evicted. Now I just have to figure out how to do that. Surely there's a twelve step program out there for it.

A Step Back

Superman and I had a heated lively discussion on Tuesday night. We are currently in court proceedings with Lexie. She has decided she wants an increase in child support. She brought it up last year and Superman was willing to sign for the increase without any fuss. No court, no attorneys. On one stipulation. She must agree to increase the visitation time to the new standards in our state. He would get an additional night during the week and an extra week during the summer. We thought the request was fair. She did not.

Fast forward to May 2009. Superman gets served in the driveway with Lois and Lane standing next to him. Good times. We haven't gotten an attorney yet and hopefully don't need to. We both have enough experience with the legal system we have filed everything ourselves. We don't expect the child support to change much. Lois is emancipating so the support will only be for one child instead of two.

In the past I kept up with all the everyday tasks that needed to be done in relation to Lexie and Krypto. I emailed all the insurance documents, school papers, kept up with the exchange and payment of all medical bills, not to mention keeping a daily log book of all dealings with Krypto. Since Kent has been born I have slacked on it. unfortunately I don't feel Superman has picked up that slack. Things are starting to slowly get behind. Medical bills aren't getting reimbursed on time, receipts not being provided, and EOBs are not getting to the other sides.

With court fast approaching I feel everything needs to be in order. I tried to explain to Superman that I felt I had to be waist deep in this mess or things would fall apart. I had told him last year I needed to take a step back, to focus on my pregnancy and just take a break. This hasn't happened yet.

Superman will be the first to admit he has the memory of a goldfish.

Swim. Swim. Swim. Look a Castle. Swim.Swim. Swim.

Look a Castle! Swim. Swim. Swim. Wow! Is that a Castle?

Krypto knows this. Lexie knows this. I know this. The kids know this. Everyone knows I am the organized one. It annoys Krypto to no end that I am the one who sends her the things she needs. When she asks Superman if he got the email about Clark's dentist appointment or whatever the case may be, he tends to make the same reply. Whether or not he's seen it. I don't know. I'll have to look. This annoys me to no end because he does it to annoy her. I feel Krypto thinks I am hiding things from him. I, of course, express this to Superman. He proceeds to tell me that this is not always about me and he's sure they don't even think that.
The numerous emails from Krypto accusing me of this very thing point to a major flaw in his argument. I need a break from this. I did not ask to be his divorce and custody secretary. I want to help but not feel it is my responsiblity. I'm a little annoyed with the entire situation right now. I have the responsibilities of being their mother but none of the rights. I don't have a say what happens in the court room but it will directly affect my family. I don't have a right to defend myself against the lies and innuendos that are tossed around about me.

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Lord, Please give me patience.

And when my patience fails me,
please give me the strength to bury the bodies.

Amen