I came home last night from a long work day and an unexpected trip to the grocery store to find out the Lois had gone over to Krypto's house with Mr. Wonderful. I was upset. After all Krypto has said and done to our family why would she do that? She walks up behind me and tells me it's up to her to make that decision.
I am hurt. I have been thinking about it since. I think my biggest problem is I feel like I have been stabbed in the back. Shouldn't there be some kind of loyalty to me? I get she wants to see her brother but HELLO he is here half the time. I also don't trust Lois not to get around her and give Krypto information about us. Lois tends to follow the company she keeps.
I am the one who gets held to a higher standard than everyone else. If I have a bad day then I must hate the kids and ultimately will cause the severe emotional problems for life. I get the eye rolls that are not given to anyone else of authority in their lives. When we discuss things and I cry because my feelings are hurt then I am trying to somehow manipulate the situation to my advantage.
I am tired. I am tired of having to protect myself from people I should consider my family. I am tired of being held to an unrealistic standard. I am tired.
So I have decided to take control of the areas that I can. I asked Superman to have the girls take all pictures of me and Kent off their facebooks. Their cousin is now their friend and she is currently living with Krypto. I will not allow someone I do not trust access to pictures of my son. If they refuse to do it I have decided I will contact Facebook itself.
I have contacted Kent's daycare and taken Lois off the pick up list. If I do not trust her judgement how can I allow her unfettered access to my son along with anyone she wants to bring.
I know this may be an overreaction but I need to feel like I am doing something and don't have any other way to handle it. How do I stop this feeling that I need to protect myself from everybody around me now? I don't think everyone should have to choose but I'm not going around befriending all their ex-counterparts either. God knows if I did that I would be crucified.
I know this latest development will have repercussions for us. Krypto will use Lois until she no longer has a use for her. She will then step all over her to get what she wants. They will be our consequences and once again she will not have to suffer for her decisions.
4 comments:
Being the scapegoat sucks and having to live behind glass where everyone sees what you do and what you say, then judges you for not being perfect also sucks.
Stepmoms are people too darn it! We make mistakes, cry, hurt and have needs. It doesn't make us evil!! Try not to let it get you down.
I'm sorry your stepdaughter doesn't have more respect for you. I would feel stabbed in the back too.
I feel for you A LOT!!!! I see where you are coming from and I am sending many, many warm thoughts your way!!!
Maybe you need to come up with somethign similar to this http://stepmamastory.blogspot.com/2010/02/dragonflymamas-new-rules-for-sane.html
I completely understand where you are coming from. It makes life so hard and it sucks at times. It's like a juggling act and all the balls must remain in the air at all times, if one drops it will be your fault and its an added pressure no one wants to have to deal with. All you can do is control your reactions and what you do for you and your son. It may not make everyone happy but in the end you and Kent have to be happy so do what is best for you. I really hope things get better...sending happy thoughts your way.
Post a Comment