We told Clark on Sunday. After researching lots of different ways to explain what miscarriage is we decided to stick with a simple approach. We didn't really discuss the medical aspects or terminology. We explained sometimes when a woman gets pregnant God knows that something is wrong with the baby. He decides it would be best to take the baby back to heaven to fix them. When the time is right he would send us another baby to love just as much as him, Kent and the baby we lost.
We were trying to make sure he wasn't scared God was going around snatching babies or that something would happen to Lois's baby. He seemed to understand. He asked a few questions. I did start to cry which confused Clark. Superman tried to explain it was sad day for us. He then said, "It's a sad day for all of us." It broke my heart.
After going through this again I have realized that many women have miscarriages but no one discusses them. It's not a comfortable subject for the person who suffered the loss or anyone around them. It's hard to know what to say to someone. I know this is not my fault and I couldn't have done anything different but you can't help but feel somehow it is. Will people think I deserve this or somehow I caused this? So instead of taking the chance of being judge harshly or unfairly it is hidden.
Many women have discussed their own story with me after they realize I too have suffered the same agonizing loss. The code of silence is breached and a flood of information and emotion comes to the surface. A person has to be initiated before you can openly discuss it.
I am slowly getting back to enjoying life. I have my moments but I think I am doing better than the last time. The last time I was in bed for two weeks and couldn't function. I was devastated and broken. This time I refused to suffer the same agony again. Sheer will got me through the first few days. I will be forever grateful the kids were with their respective mothers during that week. It did make it easier to experience without watchful eyes.
Now if I could get the picture of the heartbeat out of my head I would be great....
3 comments:
I'm really glad that you were able to find a way to talk to Clark about it, and that you were all able to get on the same page. That's definitely a great step for all of you I think. Take Care hun!
I've come to the conclusion that there is some sort of silent club of women who have miscarried because those who haven't been through really don't get how awful it is.
I am so sorry. I'm glad you found a way to discuss it with Clark. I don't even pretend to know how it feels. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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