Moving In?

Superman and I had our sit down with Lois. We told her everything that was expected of her if she were to decide to move in with us. We tried to be fair without being doormats. I think we reached a good balance. This is all too new for me still. I don't have 18 years experience of being a parent. I never got the slow and steady transition. All I got was driving, dating, and now her becoming an adult.

We decided she did not have to ask permission to go out but the door locks at 10:30 during the week and if she isn't home by then she will need to make other arrangements. It's extended to midnight on weekends. She is responsible for the expenses she brings into the house. We will no longer be doing her laundry or keeping the bedroom clean. If she wants anything special she'll need to buy it. We are only asking for the difference in utilities, insurance and small amount per week for food, etc. Our house will not be a storage building. If she is not home for extended periods of time she will forced to make a decision.

We want her to use this time living with us to learn how to manage her money. That's why she is required to have her "bills" paid to us on a specific date. If she fails to act like an adult and have her bills paid she will no longer be treated like an adult. If she decides to attend college full time the arrangement will be reevaluated.

I tried to express my concerns to Superman. He is so excited about Lois possibly moving in. I just don't want him to be blinded and no stick to the rules we have created. I told him if Lois starts breaking the rules or becomes a disruption to the boys then he will need to do what's necessary. I told him specifically not to tell me I don't understand if an issues ever comes up. I know I don't understand not having your child with you but he wouldn't be doing her any good if he allows her to walk all over us.

I hope this works out for Superman's sake. She is supposed to tell us a definite answer this week. All I asked from her specifically is that she approach her mother as an adult. She is not to blurt out she is moving in a fit of anger or in the heat of the moment. If she wants to be treated like an adult she needs to start acting like one with her first decision.