Drastic Measures

A simple request turned into a HUGE ordeal.

On Saturday night, I noticed Lois had friended Krypto on Facebo*k. She's an adult. She can do what she wants I guess. We already knew she had been talking with her and hanging out with her recently.

While she was living with us we allowed her to upload some pictures of Kent onto her Faceb**k with very specific directions. She was to keep her privacy settings so no one else could see and she could not have Krypto as a friend.

Because of her recent decisions we asked her to take down the pictures of her brother. Krypto already had a picture of my son on her phone and I didn't want her accessing all of his newborn pictures we had taken. Little did we know this request would become such a cluster.

She basically told us she was not taking the pictures down because we didn't have a good enough reason and he is her brother. WTF!!!! Oh HELL no. In what universe did she think that was going to end the debate. Sister does not trump mommy and daddy. EVER.

So I took matters into my own hands. I contacted the photographer and asked if I could make a request to have the pictures removed on her behalf by Faceb**k. She agreed. I then proceeded to contact the local police and ask if they would make contact with her. Which they did.

She was furious and talking in circles. She thought we were being childish and our reasons weren't valid. She thinks Krypto is trying to be nice and the relationship would be better if I wasn't causing all these problems. Of course. It always comes back to me. It was like listening to Krypto talk about how everything was better before I came along.

Superman got off the phone upset and hurt.

This morning I found Lois had defriended me and set her privacy setting so I couldn't see the album. Does she think I'm stupid?

Well her scheme didn't work because a few hours later I got an email from Faceb**k. The pictures have been removed for copyright violations.

I understand she is my husband's daughter. But who the fuck does she think she is telling me what and who can have access to my son? I have been told countless times I am not the mommy so I don't get to make the decisions regarding the steps. But guess what bitch, I am the mommy now. For real. She has no idea who she is messing with. Now I'm just waiting to see what her response is once Faceb**k tells her the pictures were removed.

Happy Anniversary

To my husband

I never thought I could find a man who had everything I was looking for: a sense of humor, a loving heart, and a faithful soul. Someone who could be my friend and the father of my children. I never thought I would find the man of my dreams...until I met you.

We have been through hard times but I wouldn't change a thing. I could not be on this journey without you. I love doing life with you.

Happy Anniversary.

The Control is Lost

I came home last night from a long work day and an unexpected trip to the grocery store to find out the Lois had gone over to Krypto's house with Mr. Wonderful. I was upset. After all Krypto has said and done to our family why would she do that? She walks up behind me and tells me it's up to her to make that decision.

I am hurt. I have been thinking about it since. I think my biggest problem is I feel like I have been stabbed in the back. Shouldn't there be some kind of loyalty to me? I get she wants to see her brother but HELLO he is here half the time. I also don't trust Lois not to get around her and give Krypto information about us. Lois tends to follow the company she keeps.

I am the one who gets held to a higher standard than everyone else. If I have a bad day then I must hate the kids and ultimately will cause the severe emotional problems for life. I get the eye rolls that are not given to anyone else of authority in their lives. When we discuss things and I cry because my feelings are hurt then I am trying to somehow manipulate the situation to my advantage.

I am tired. I am tired of having to protect myself from people I should consider my family. I am tired of being held to an unrealistic standard. I am tired.

So I have decided to take control of the areas that I can. I asked Superman to have the girls take all pictures of me and Kent off their facebooks. Their cousin is now their friend and she is currently living with Krypto. I will not allow someone I do not trust access to pictures of my son. If they refuse to do it I have decided I will contact Facebook itself.

I have contacted Kent's daycare and taken Lois off the pick up list. If I do not trust her judgement how can I allow her unfettered access to my son along with anyone she wants to bring.

I know this may be an overreaction but I need to feel like I am doing something and don't have any other way to handle it. How do I stop this feeling that I need to protect myself from everybody around me now? I don't think everyone should have to choose but I'm not going around befriending all their ex-counterparts either. God knows if I did that I would be crucified.

I know this latest development will have repercussions for us. Krypto will use Lois until she no longer has a use for her. She will then step all over her to get what she wants. They will be our consequences and once again she will not have to suffer for her decisions.

Attorney Visit

We had our meeting with the attorney on Wednesday. It was a double edged sword. We both walked out feeling relieved and frustrated. The attorney listened to all we had to say. She agreed some of the things were a little "weird" and sometimes her judgement was questionable. After Superman poured over the most recent events she stopped and asked how this is effecting Clark.

We both were caught a little of guard by the question. After everything we told her we both realized Clark is a resilient little boy who may have parents that fight and sometimes hate each other but like we have been saying all along. He is a normal healthy happy boy.

We don't have anything to show a judge Clark is suffering in any way. We are but that doesn't count. You can be crazy parent as long as you don't make the kids crazy. So ending joint custody is not an option right now. For either of us.

So while we may have to deal with the situation for some time to come she is going to have to deal with it also. Which is a little comforting. No surprise attacks that we have to be on edge about. The frustration comes in knowing Clark will have to be hurt or suffering in some way in order to do anything. We can't prevent it just repair the damage after it's done.

So we are setting up another mediation appointment with Krypto. To help resolve the issues we are having and try to put some boundaries on her with the court.

Tuesday at Dad's

Lois will be coming over tonight for dinner. It is also the midweeks visits with Lane and Clark. Once again Superman will have all his kids under one roof. And that make me happy.

This will be the first time she's seen her room since she left. It's in the process of being painted blue by Superman and Clark. Hopefully this doesn't hurt her feelings.

After dropping Clark off tonight we are going to swing by and see the Cousin. Because of all the bad weather here recently he didn't get a chance last week. We have the appointment tomorrow with the attorney tomorrow so tonight is our last chance to get it done.

I asked Superman if I could go to the attorney. He said sure. I tried to ask in a no-big-deal-you-won't-upset-me-and/or-this-is-not-a-trap-if-you-say-no-manner. I wanted to go but I didn't want to feel like I was pushing it on him. I, of course, didn't think he thought about it long enough. So I spent the next ten minutes trying to convince him by text he could tell me no if he wanted and he could take time if he needed. He responded, "The appointment with our attorney is at 3."

I know it's stupid but the simple phrase of "our attorney" made me smile. Fingers crossed only good news comes from the attorney.

Tangled Webs

Well last night went better than I expected. Superman talked to Lane. He explained what Krypto was claiming. She sorted out what was a half-truth, what was a misinterpretation and what was a blatant lies.

She did admit she did express some concerns to her mother about Clark. She is noticing he is not getting the same amount of attention since Kent has been born. She said she remembers when Clark was born and she felt the same way.

Ok. I can see her concern. This is a big issue with Superman. Superman has many regrets in his life. This is a major one for him. He wishes he had done things differently or could make it up to her now. It broke his heart that she is worried about Clark having the same feelings. He explained we have done everything to try make the transition easier on him. We took him to sibling classes and Superman makes its a point to spend one-on-one time with him. But there will be a little bit of those feelings no matter what we do. Things have changed. He is no longer an only child most of the time.

After talking to her Superman he then talked to Lois. Her statements were in line with what Lane had said. Her concern was Clark has gotten used to her being there and now she wasn't. Which is completely true. Superman told her again not to let them money issue stand in the way of her coming over. We have not mentioned money to her since she moved out.

While talking to Lois, Lexie and Luther came outside. Lexie admitted talking to her but she said Krypto carried most of the conversation. Lexie said she was very short with her answers and did not imply in any way she was concerned for the girls or Clark or Kent. She said the girls did have concerns about Clark but they were not anything like that. Krypto was obviously digging for information and she had manipulated the information she was given into what she wanted to hear.

It's far from over but at least I don't feel like we are getting stabbed in the back by our family. So now he just has to talk to the cousin. Once that is done there is no doubt Krypto will know we know everything.

Now Who's Mad? Oh The Irony

Well things went from bad to worse and then a slight glow started to appear at the end of the tunnel.

On Friday we decided to lay low for a little bit. See what developed and then talk to the girls. He was going to Lane out to lunch and see if she had any concerns. That didn't work out because Superman got a migraine so it put our plans on hold.

Come Monday, Krypto takes it up a notch. She tells Clark's teacher she is concerned because we wouldn't let his sister eat and she was almost hospitalized. I was furious. We can't say anything too specific because of who we are getting our info from. Krypto knows her extremely well. So we decide he needs to make contact with the school. He advises the teacher Krypto is making allegations about him and would like to know if she's made contact. He told Clark doesn't know what is going on to his knowledge and would like it kept that way. The teacher does not confirm anything but does advise him she will discuss it with the counselor and principal.

At the end of the day an email was sent. To. Both. Parents. It basically said all communication would be kept confidential and no emails would be forwarded. If there is a problem it would need to be worked out without involving the school. They are a neutral party.

Now keep in mind we know she contacted the school. She doesn't know we did. She is furious. She believes her cover is blown. Little did she know we already knew everything. She is telling her friends the school is refusing to do anything and she's pissed off because they broke the confidentiality by sending it to Superman too.

We respond to the teacher with a simple thank you for looking into it. I think the responses speak volumes about what each party was attempting to get accomplished.

Tonight he is going to talk to Lane during his midweek visit and then Lois after that hopefully. Depending on what is said will determine if the cousin is going to be confronted tonight. Hope everything works out.

Mad As Hell

I just got off the phone with Superman and I am spitting fire. His niece called him earlier and told him Krypto was asking about problems at our house and Lane wanting to come over to our house more to watch over Clark. If she knew anything. She told her she had no idea what she was talking about.

I then get a copy of an email Kryto wrote to someone else...I would post it in it's entirety but I'm afraid it would come up on a search so here the gist of it.

I talked to Superman' s ex Lexie today and she was telling me that the girls ( Clark' s sisters) are concerned for Clark when he is over at their at Superman's...his wife is not very nice to him or them...she proceeded to also tell me that the oldest ( Lois ) since she got pregnant and she was living with Superman that he made her rent their car from them , pay rent, also they would ask her what she needed from the store and they would not buy food for her so she lost 15 to 20 pounds because of them not allowing her to eat much of anything...Lane now has a mid week visit with Superman on Tuesday's because she asked to because knew Clark was there every other Tuesday and she wanted to keep and eye on him....Clark got sent home from after school care on Monday because he was throwing up ...when I got home with him he asked me what day it was and I told him it was Monday and he said he thought it was Friday and that he was going to his dad's...I have contacted the school counselor ...I didn't know if that since there is concern for Clark when hes there by his sisters that see what's going on if there was anything else I needed to be doing besides getting the counseling started back up..

What load of bull shit is that??? There is just enough truth to that conversation that it led me to believe Lois is telling lies to her cousin who is still in contact with Krypto. (Yes, the same cousin who gave Krypto pictures of Kent)

I think this email is a combination of 3 liars converging in one place and playing a bad game of liar telephone. One person tells the person next to them and then that person tells the next but instead of repeating it, it is made worse, so on and so forth.

Yes, Lois was required to pay for a set amount for food, car insurance, and the difference in utilities, and her own phone bill. All that added up $200.00. Oh my gosh someone call social services.

If that girl lost 20 lbs out our house I would like to know where it went because the girl was asking to borrow my maternity pants before she even made it to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy.

The idea of a midweek was by court order that Superman fought hard for. It was hardly Lane's idea approved by her mother.

She's so concerned for Clark she asked to spend the night with a friend tomorrow.

Clark is in a horrible position. His parents don't get along. His loyalties are divided I'm sure. But I don't think he says bad things about our house. Just like he doesn't bad mouth his mother over at ours. He does make comments about certain things but we don't read to much into it. When he mentioned he wished he had his own room at his mom's that doesn't mean he hates being at his mom's. He's seven and dealing with a crazy situation. He loves his parents. Both of them. He needs them. Both of them.

I called Superman and told him if him he needed to get to the bottom of the situation. If we confirm this is coming from Lois and her lies she is not welcome in my home. She needed to confronted in front of her mother. She thinks she can play both sides and have no consequences. Well guess what? Consequences just met Karma and they are getting ready to whoop some ass!!

Moving Things

We decided after some long discussions that Lois's room should not sit vacant waiting on the chance she might decide to come spend the night. At first, Superman was hesitant about changing the rooms around. He was concerned she would think we were pushing her even farther away. I tried to express to him the unfairness of the situation. Our son, who is the only child here 24/7, did not have a room and would soon be turning a year old. Was it really fair to ask Clark, who is here half the time, to share with his brother while a room sits empty?

We decided before Kent was born we would leave the kids in their rooms. It wasn't worth moving everyone around. Kent would be in our room for some time anyways. I compromised on having a cute nursery for the time being. It was more important to make the transition easier. But now I can not imagine the reason for leaving half of the bedrooms sit empty except for 4 nights a month.

Lois was told it was not a revolving door when she decided to leave. She could not bounce from one house to the other if she was upset with the rules. She was told she would always have a bed to stay if she wanted to visit. And she does, just like any other family that stays with us. Its the bottom bunk. It sleeps quite nice I'm told.

Clark is excited about the move. We are transitioning him to Lois's room since it is farther away than his old room. Kent will be moving in Clark's old room. Clark showed her what was going on when she was over last night. She apparently asked Superman about the move before I got home. She asked why he was moving. He tried to explain the boys deserved to have their own rooms since Lois was no longer living here. He explained the room shouldn't sit empty. She was surprised and said Lois was going to come over on weekends. (Which she hasn't.) Superman told her she hadn't come over since she left and enough time had passed to show she wasn't going to be coming over enough to make it fair to leave it.

What are we supposed to do? Make a shrine to her. Honestly.

When Luther's daughter was asked to leave their house, I mean, when it was mutually agreed it would be best if she left the house, the rooms were reassigned the same night. But I guess there are different standards that we are being judged by.

New Year so Far

I have been MIA for some time now. I needed a little break to put my life in perspective and think about the changes in the last few months. I'm back in the groove and I think I may have found my sanity along the way.

We started the New Year with one less person in the house. Lois moved out right before the new year. We weren't home and we had moved all her things into the garage so Mr. Wonderful and Luther could help her without having to come into the house.


We provided her the bills she has accumulated since she moved in with us. Superman asked that she pay the phone bill since it was due soon. She told us she would definitely would have the money. She asked if she could keep the SIM card until she got paid on Friday. Superman agreed. I was under the assumption she would stop using the phone on that day. I was mistaken.


On Friday she didn't make contact and Superman texted her. She said she couldn't cash her check because of the holiday. Fair enough. Saturday came and went and nothing. She was still using the phone. On Sunday Superman finally called her. She gave excuses about how she was at her grandparents house and thought he was going to call her. Ok. When he asked her why she was still using the phone when she had no intention of paying for it she said once again she was going to. Eventually she started crying . I listened to the entire conversation. He was not mean. He was not rude. He never even raised his voice. He ended the conversation telling her he did not want to money to come between there relationship.

Two minutes after getting off the phone. Superman received a text from Lexie.

"Your key and SIM card will be on your door tomorrow. When she gets a better job she will start making payments."

First of all why don't you put a sign on our door that say "HOUSE KEY TAPED TO DOOR. PLEASE ROB US!!" Superman text back asking it not be put on the door and if the money for the phone would be included. No response to money but he was told it would be dropped off at his work instead.

The next day came and went. The key and SIM card were returned. The bill was not paid.

I expected more from her. I want for at least one time for Lois to put someone else first and not take the easy way out. Superman deserves not to be used by his own daughter.

She returned to her mothers so she could avoid taking responsibility at our house. Karma is a bitch and one of these days she's going to meet her.

The last time I talked about the situation with my sister she told me something she had figured out. When Kent was born and was giving me fits she would tell me he was my karma for how I acted as a child. She realizes now Kent is not my Karma. Lois is. When I think back to the hell I put my mother thru I cringe. I turned out ok. Maybe Lois will too.

The Discussion

We sat down with Lois last night. My stomach was tied in knots and I was repeating in my head over and over again. Stay calm. Come from a place of love not accusations. This is not a battle. It seemed to work. I kept unneeded comments to myself and tried interject when I felt strongly.

Superman asked her what her plans were. She began by saying very general things without any thought to time frames. I'm gonna get a better job and try to work in a daycare. Superman then told her the original agreement with us still stood. She is still required to pay the expenses attributed to her. She then told us she was moving in with her mother.

I was kind of shocked. I thought she would down the line once she realized this wasn't going to be a free ride and she couldn't play the "I'm pregnant" card at our house. She had already made plans to move her stuff out. I was also kind of upset because she failed to at least mention the idea to us before making all these plans.

Most of our discussion with her was not even said. There was no need to lecture her about taking responsibility now. If her mother is willing to support her then Superman would just look like the bad guy. He did however tell her to think about her decision. She is always welcome in our home but it does not have a revolving door. She can't ask to come back in a couple months when she doesn't like the setup at the other house.

I hope everything works out. I really do for everyone sake. But I do think Superman will be able to recover from all this without her being in the house and being confronted by it everyday. I want him to be able to have the relationship with his daughter restored at least mended.

I am however feeling very very guilty. I felt a wave of relief when she said she was moving out. I know I shouldn't and I will never share this with Superman. I feel like I'm about to get my home back. I will no longer be on edge when she is home. I won't have to worry if she brought her boyfriend to the house while we are at work. I won't have to worry about what other decisions could do to us financially or emotionally.

I don't like feeling I have to protect myself and my family from her. I don't know if this tumultuous relationship between her and I will ever improve. I hold her responsible for what she has done to Superman the last few years. I can't let it go. How do you forgive someone who hurt someone you love more than anyone in the world when they show no remorse?

This quote has been going through my head.

Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that things could have been different.

Maybe with time.

On our path

We were sitting in the parking lot of Walmart, discussing if we were going to have more kids. It felt safer than discussing it at home. Most of our important conversations lately have been in the car. I think it takes the pressure off. He doesn't have to look at me and I have to remain controlled or he could swerve into a ditch.

We had decided before the bomb was dropped we were going to have one more. We were going to be done before he turned 41. He didn't want anymore after that. I was ok with that. But then the news of his oldest daughter having a child changed everything in our universe. Was second child even up for discussion anymore? Did he want his wife and daughter pregnant at the same time? All valid questions and concerns.

He told Lois in their discussion we were on path and we weren't going to deviate from it but that didn't reassure me until he said the words. So that is why we ultimately ended up in the parking lot of Walmart. I asked if I needed to buy the fertility monitor test sticks we had to use the last time to get pregnant.

We discussed it. Rationally. I didn't cry. He didn't try to postpone the discussion. We discussed it like two mature adults. He told me the thought crossed his mind about not having anymore but he didn't want his daughter's decision effecting his marriage or his plans with me. I told him if we didn't have anymore now I would forever hold her responsible. I didn't say it negatively (somehow) and he understood my point of view.

I think we decided to start trying after the new year. Even after all the talking he wouldn't say he wanted another child. I believe him when he says he doesn't want to stray from our path we planned but a part of me thinks he is not 100% behind the plan still.

Things between us are still up and down. We talked on Christmas eve after we played Santa for the kids. We laid on the floor in front of the lit Christmas tree and laid everything out. I tried to explain where I was coming from. I tried to explain the loss of control over my house and son's future. I tried to explain how little control I have and to lose what little control I have is going to drive me to the edge. I apologized for making him choose me over his daughter. I told him where I stood and my feelings for the last week.

He explained his anger over the situation. He explained his frustration with his daughter. He explained his fear for his daughter and for the other kids. He apologized for not understanding how this affects me. But mostly he told me our marriage was important and something he is willing to fight for. He told me he loved me and would do everything in his power to get thru this together.

We set rules of for discussing things so we don't fight unfairly. I feel better but I know there is still a lot of work ahead. But every morning I will get up and will try another day because that's what I promised I would do and I can't imagine getting up and not having that man beside me.

The Line

I left last night. Superman and I had been bickering most of the day on the phone and thru text. Lois went to the doctor today and Superman passed the information along to me. It didn't add up. The due date didn't match the number of weeks she was.

I wanted to know why and Superman was upset because I always think she's lying. That's mainly because I always think she's lying. Superman is willing to look over a lot. I'm not able to do that. So we fight. We each stand in our corners, waiting to see what the other person is going to do. Protecting ourselves but not willing to throw the first punch.

So in the middle of dinner, trying to feed Kent, and attempting to fix the computer/iPod issues he asks me a question and I simply tell him I can't do it all. He responds "You can't answer a question?" That was the proverbial straw.

I calmly got up, put Kent's bowl down and said I have to leave. I grabbed my purse and walked out. I drove and cried. I called my friend and cried to her. Not once did Superman attempt to call. While talking to my friend the realization of what I was asking of him hit me.

I am asking him to pick me over his daughter. I want to be the one he chooses. And I'm afraid of what his choice would be. I want this man so badly and can't imagine my life without him in it. The natural order of things would be the child always wins. And my heart is breaking.

I came to realize it is not about his choice. It's about mine. I need to know where my line is and what my terms are. If my needs are not being met and the situation violates the conditions I set then ultimately the decision is mine. I can not ask him to choose me over his daughter. He needs to find his own line. His own path. I can not sacrifice who I am to be with this man. No matter how much I would want to. I will not play the role as martyr because that will be just as destructive.

My decision made I went back home. We did not speak. We went to bed. I cried myself to sleep. I can not lose this man but what will this cost me?

Fraud

Superman had a short conversation with Lois. She approached him and he didn't want to cut her off. He was being very upfront with her and told her how he felt. He told her he wasn't happy about the situation. He asked her questions that she hadn't thought about yet.

Who is going to watch the baby while she works?
How much is Mr. Wonderful going to be involved?
How is she going to pay for it?

He told me when he was asking her questions she kept saying. "You sound like I ruined everyone's lives." He explained to her she didn't understand what an impact this decision will have on her life and everyone else's. He told her we (Superman and I) have path we have decided to go down and plans have been made. We are not going to alter our plans because of her decisions. She is an adult and it is her responsibility to deal with the consequences.

By the conversation I think she was expecting us to be happy about it just like her mom.

We also learned one more piece of interesting information. Lois was asking about how much the insurance would cover and how much she would have to pay when she told Superman Lexie had signed the kids up for the state medicaid program while she was still living there. Lexie gave her the card the last time she was over there.

Superman has provided insurance on the girls for the last 15 years. Not just insurance. Great insurance. This is the best policy I have ever seen. We even have dental rollover dollars! (That's at least amazing to me.) So why the fuck is Lexie signing the girls up? Not to mention she has been on it for over a year and never mentioned it to Superman. And here's the best part. She asked to be reimbursed for medical expenses that we now know that state has picked up. That conniving little bitch.

With my job I know how the program works. Lois is not able to use the medicaid ID number for her mother's case unless she is living there. Her mother had 5 days to report the change. Income and household size determine eligibility. If she failed to report it, anything filed after would be considered medicaid fraud.

We have to tell Lois she either uses the cards and moves back in with her mother or she opens her own case. Either way in 5 days if something is not done I am reporting the fraud. My job and my husband's job could be in jeopardy if it looks like we knew and did nothing.

PI Wanted

If I ever wanted to be a private investigator, the events of today should clearly show why I am never going to make millions spying on people.

I got on my facebook and notice Lois posted she had gone home early from work. I was upset. She was fine this morning. Not to mention I went to work everyday and was sick at work everyday for 6 months. I had bills to pay and so does she.

I went to the online phone account and check her texts for the past few hours. Currently she has 22000 for this month. That is not a typo. So you can definately tell when she is at work, in the shower or even sleeping.

What do you know? Not a single break. I am pissed.

Staring at me in the face is an ad for GPS locate. It advertises you can know where your kids are and have peace of mind. Track your kids with their cell phone. Well. I could use some of that.

I sign up. On the wrong telephone number.

Guess who gets a text about it? It gives her a password and the website to start tracking. Wait for it. Me.

Ok. It could be worse. It somewhat looks like a promotional text. Maybe she won't notice. I immediately cancel it on her phone, add it to mine and then go to the website and register. Now we are tracking. And low and behold she is not at our house. She's at her mother's.

But wait my utter failure as a PI is not yet complete.

Lois sends me a text. What is family tracking? Oh shit. She sends another. I just got another one that you are tracking me??? Oh fuck! The only thing that is working today is my quick thinking. I let her know I got a similar text and I am already online looking at the account. Which is entirely true. I go on for about the next hour back and forth with her. Asking all kinds of stupid but official sounding questions. Then I had to call Superman and tell him what I had done and ask him to help make this seem even more official. I explained what I had done and asked him to contact Lois and ask why she was tracking his phone. Which is entirely false. By this time I had cancelled the account on Lois and began one on myself so now I can have the text from the wireless company. Then I have to cancel that.

It wasn't worth all the hassle and drama just to find out where she was at one time. I was on pins and needles not knowing if she believed me. When I got home she kept going on about how she thinks Mr. Wonderful did something to the account so he would know where she was. Ok. I admit I was wrong for not correcting her but at least I gave her the impression to hack into someone's account is not something anyone can do.

I have learned my lesson.

But seriously what kind of genius sells a product to track your kids but then notifies your kids they are being tracked with their cell phone? Hello! Big red truck!!! (If you don't know what that means I be glad to fill you in on a little southern humor)

On Purpose

I think she planned this pregnancy. She is not reacting at all like I thought she would. She is not acting sad or depressed as a matter of fact she seems excited and happy.

And that is making this more difficult for me to deal with.

That and she asked to wear some of my maternity clothes. After her mother bought her some freaking maternity clothes and baby gifts.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

I think she thought her boyfriend and her would live happily ever after.

Here is the background on Mr. Wonderful. He just had a baby with his last girlfriend. On Monday. He is a senior in high school. And he almost 20.

She can pick a winner.

I am trying to let go of my anger but I can't get over it right now. I have to admit this is bringing back painful memories from my own youth. Only a handful of people on the planet know about it but I too had to deal with an unplanned pregnancy at almost her age. I am still dealing with my decision.

I am angry she might have made this decision expecting our complete financial support.

We have decided to take most of her Christmas gifts back to help offsets some of the expenses she has caused us so the other kids don't suffer.

I still have yet to make eye contact with her.

A Strange Thing Happened

A major concern I had with news of the pregnancy was how it would effect my relationship with my husband. I know he has a deep love for his children and I'm sure after some time healing it would extend to any grandchildren. He is willing to do just about anything for them even at his own personal happiness.

I had my doubts if we were going to be able to agree on what we were willing to do and not able to. I fully expected this to pull us apart. I imagined that day as the specific day my marriage began to unravel. I was heartbroken.

We have been fighting more recently than ever before. Between lack of sleep taking care of Kent, Lois moving in, court, not to mention everyday life of a blended family, we had begun to take it out on each other. Not bad fights. Just little skirmishes. No one wins but both are hurt.

Amid all the turmoil, chaos and hurt feelings in the house we have found each other again. The last few days instead of driving us apart we have remembered the other is our rock during hard times.

We have talked and decided things about our future. I have no doubt disagreements are inevitable but I have a renewed since of confidence in my marriage. We are strong enough to endure whatever comes.

Too Much

I never thought I would be writing this. I am overwhelmed and so is Superman.

Lois told Superman she is pregnant. By text message. Her boyfriend has now left her and that's about all we know.

How do you come to terms with something like this. She has no idea what her choices have done to her life and our family.

Why can't I stop thinking about how this effects me? I didn't say anything to Superman because I know this is not the time.

This is the first time as a stepmother I have felt this way towards her. I don't want her actions to hurt me. I don't want to raise her child or my resources to go to the situation of her own making. And I feel so guilty about that.

Dear god. How are we going to get thru this?

But I can't be angry

Superman got a call from Lois tonight.

"hey dad, just wanted to let you know I hit a curb but no damage."

Now keep in mind this is our car that we have been letting her use. It is paid for and it only has liability insurance. Ironically just today we had a conversation about how she doesn't appreciate what we have be doing for her since she moved in. She asked to keep the car all night and was upset when she was told it had to be home by her curfew. She wanted to know why and she was immediately told because it wasn't hers.

Then Superman gets a second phone call.

"Hey dad. The car is leaking. I think it is oil and I'm going to stop and get some."
"You need to come home right now."
"But I have to take dirt bag boyfriend home first"
"I don't think you understand what is going on. He needs to find a ride. He can sit in the garage while he waits."

Third call.

"Dad. The car won't move at all"

Superman talks to her for a little while and goes to go pick her up and have the car towed. As of right now I'm not believing the story we are getting.

We don't have the money to replace the car not to
mention have it worked on. So now we are out of our second vehicle that my husband depends on to do everything outside of work. Thank god he has a vehicle to use on company time but he can't have passengers so of course. I'll be doing it all. By my self.

I am furious but I apparently don't get to be mad. I don't get to say how this effects me. I am mad at both of them. Her for being irresponsible with property that is not hers. And him for letting her have it when we depend on that car and knowing she couldn't afford to repair or replace it.

I want to return her presents to help pay for the damages. And make her walk to work bit I probably can't get both of those without really seeming like the bitch. I'm sure I'll calm down to only slightly angry within the next few days, ok maybe weeks ok maybe months. Ok definately in the next year.

Do stupid people know they are?

This is the email we got today. Word for word.

Superman,
Yesterday Tuesday Dec. 1st when I was at your house you made a comment that Clark's Dr. Appointment had been changed from Dec. X at 3:45pm to this Friday Dec. Xth at 4:00pm, I was just wondering when you were planning on informing me of this change in date and time...after it was over....due to the fact that this appointment is during my visitation and for all you know I could have gotten off of work early to pick him up right at 3:00...
I would appreciate it from now on that if you go and make an appointment or change an appointment then you notify me the same day it was made or changed..I have done this with you for every appointment I have made for Clark and the ones that I have had to change or the Dr. has changed. This is just common courtesy.

Let me know if you have any questions or if you know of any reason as to why this can not be done.

Crazy Krypto

Well let me see. I think he planned to mention it to you when you were at our house and he mentioned it to you. This appointment originally had to be rescheduled because she had the original appointment cancelled.

And yea she has told him about the appointments she makes. Of course the last three she has provided the wrong time and the one before that she scheduled to have a tooth capped on my birthday during our visitation week.

God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.